You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
