Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
