even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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