worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
