I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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