was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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