i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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