pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
