the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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