I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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