Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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