Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
