I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
