sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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