Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
