Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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