You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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