Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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