She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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