I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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