I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
No subtext here. People are naked.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
