i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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