im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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