It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
