Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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