Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize