: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
