our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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