Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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