Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
