Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
