I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
