I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
