Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
