GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
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Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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