They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
that is very illegal...i love you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
