That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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