My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
