I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
