My Higher Power is John Stamos
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
