ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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