i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
