I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god it's open bar.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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