So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
