worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
