He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
