Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
