It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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