he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
