When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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