oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My pussy is not your playground.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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