i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
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Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
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AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Come on in and take your pants off
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