Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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