I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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