They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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