i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same