the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom