before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
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She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
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I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!