at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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